Sunday, September 12, 2004
I feel at peace today. i think it's the power of God. really glad to know that he is always around, even when times i have turned away from him.. times when i am down and have forgotten him.. i feel guilty and sinful.. i pray to him more nowadays to give thanks to him and to constantly remind myself of his greatness and grace.. there are some things i can never say here or share with my close friends, things that are close to the heart and which involve other people and people who know them.. in the past, i will juz bottle them all up and swallow them.. like a scavenger macrophage.. now i am an antigen presenting cell.. i present my problems to God.. bcos i know no problem is too big for him..
------------
i ran in the morning today and i thought of a few things..
1. i feel that what i said in the previous post was very true.. there are many things which no matter how hard you try and strive for, u will never manage to achieve ur targets.. today i tried to do a 9:45 for my 2.4km at the stadium and i failed.. and i thought that i have trained so much, i should have improved a lot..
my sis is working doubly hard for her Os these days but the way i see it, no matter how hard she tries, realistically speaking, she is never going to get 6 points (at least not for her prelims).. as for my cousin.. even if he tries, he will never get an 80 for any of his subjects..
i think i got to lower my expectations for myself and for other people.. i set unrealistic goals sometimes and i get overly concerned and worked up when i don't achieve them.. quoting from someone.. i am the kind of person die die muz make things work out.. haha i think she's right. i muz change la.. muz learn to take things in my stride.. to enjoy the process rather than to be overly concerned about the end result..
2. that day i was running in this private housing estate in hougang den somehow i wanted to try a new route and got lost.. ran into many dead ends.. finally decided to run back to the main route..
i think i ran into many dead ends this yr.. went down the wrong paths.. the problem with me is that i always follow my gut feeling.. i fail to think logically.. if i had been more level headed. i would have picked up the cues, i would have been less stubborn.. and i think things might have been better.. i hope i am forgiven for my indecisiveness.. for taking the word perseverance out of context and making things difficult.
but well, i really hope i learn from my mistakes.. that i will become wiser and more mature..
---------------
i am really happy today.. seems that i have sorted out most of my thoughts.. i want to let go of the past and move on.. but i treasure all the memories and good times..
tomorrow is a new day...
i'll worship You, my God; 11:21 AM
<$BlogItemCommentCount$> Comments:
<$BlogCommentBody$>
<$BlogItemCreate$>
<< Home