Sunday, October 16, 2005
i havent blogged for damn long i realise.. it has been a really busy 4 months or so.. surgery followed by medicine posting..
i wouldnt say it was totally smooth sailing.. there were times when i felt really down, like why did i choose this course and am i really cut out for medicine.. for a start, i was never someone who likes to start conversations and socialise with people.. now i am required to talk to total strangers about things that are so personal to them, and to ask about their illnesses and stuff, and try my very best to be friendly and tactful in front of them.. and not to forget examining patients and presenting cases in front of tutors.. but thank God, i got thru them.. even though in times of doubt and worry, i always had Him to turn to for solace and comfort and to persevere in this career..
surgery was quite a nightmare especially at the beginning.. being made the leader in a totally new cg, separated from my sub cg mates, in a totally new environment and put in a team with a weird mood swinging consultant and bochup reg and mo werent really the best start to my clinical postings.. at times i was really clueless as to how to carry on the surg posting, esp with all the talk about changing teams and tutors etc.. luckily, things got better, and the later half of the posting at AH was much more bearable and at times, even fun and interesting.. i especially miss the long lunch hours at Alexandra village.. oh and the avocado juice!
medicine posting was much much better.. things were more organised at sgh and my 2 tutors were much more sane and friendly and willing to teach.. learnt so much more compared to AH but of cos there is just so much for us to learn in medicine..
and finally we have a one week break.. i will definitely treasure this..
been thinking thru some things lately.. thinking about some relationships and friends.. on one hand u really care about them and want to share with them the gospel and stuff, but words are just hard to say when it comes to religion and faith.. its such a sensitive issue that u risk spoiling the friendship and making things awkward.. but yet its so impt..
this is from the talk yesterday.. maybe its something u all can ponder over.. are u an accidental existence or a created being? it makes a whole world of difference as to how u would live ur lives.. if we are here as a result of a big bang by chance, then we can really just eat drink and be merry or to take it to the extreme, just take our lives and die today whenever we feel like it.. because if we came from nothing, then we are accountable to nothing and we will return to nothing.. there is really no meaning to our existence except whatever worth we give to it, be it our spouse, our children, our money, our goals, whatever.. so if u take this view, u can enjoy it while it lasts and while u can afford it or work hard to afford it.. and when all things crumble around u, u can either move on to other things to exist and live for, or can just cease to exist..
the latter view is what the bible offers, that is we are created by God for a purpose, to exist in a relationship with Him and in relationships with people, to be stewards over the world He has created, and to enjoy the things He has given us in abundance.. i think it is something worth pondering over.. something which has eternal consequences..
wonder whether i will get hate mail for sharing about christianity online.. or maybe get sued or something.. after all some teachers got into trouble recently for asking their students to go church..
watched this korean serial stairway to heaven recently.. i dunno why i like korean serials beacause i really think they are very dumb.. their story has no logic and is so melodramatic and everything happens so coincidentally.. but i still watch them and still hooked to them.. haha.. anyway after watching qiu tian de tong hua, then winter sonata and now stairway to heaven, i made a few observations.. first, someone in the show will surely suffer from some debilitating illnesses.. there will be some suggestion of some incestuous relationship.. the supporting actor is always very self sacrificial.. and he always end up with no one loving him.. oh car accidents are the way to go if u want to die.. or to recover lost memories.. anyway stairway to heaven is totally absurd.. i just watched the last episode which shows the supporting actor commiting suicide so that he can donate his retina to the lead actress who had lost her eyesight.. my god, which person in the right mind will do that? ok la i have to admit its really very touching, but if u do that, then what will happen to your family, your friends.. it is really quite a selfish thing to do if u think about it.. and watching korean shows put u in a surreal world.. where love is so perfect, so beautiful that u start thinking whether it might happen to u.. and of cos the answer is a big no bcos its just so impossible and unrealistic..
so better return to the real world and the realities of life.. i think many people attach too much significance and importance to getting attached and the like.. i think getting married and lving and setting up a family with someone u love is a really beautiful thing.. but its not the be all and end all of life.. life still goes on when u are single.. in fact there is so much more that one can do when one is single.. so much more that one can contribute.. so much more time available for God, for other people, for things u like to do.. and i think that the more desperate u are wanting to get into a relationship, the higher chance u will end up in a relationship which wont last.. i guess i shall leave all these to God who knows best and has my interests at heart..
i'll worship You, my God; 8:36 PM
Monday, October 03, 2005
Romans 3:10 As it is written:
"There is no one righteous, not even one;
11there is no one who understands,
no one who seeks God.
12All have turned away,
they have together become worthless;
there is no one who does good,
not even one."
13"Their throats are open graves;
their tongues practice deceit."
"The poison of vipers is on their lips."
14"Their mouths are full of cursing and bitterness."
15"Their feet are swift to shed blood;
16ruin and misery mark their ways,
17and the way of peace they do not know."
18"There is no fear of God before their eyes."
i'll worship You, my God; 11:29 PM