Sunday, February 19, 2006
Hey world, in case you are wondering.. i am still very much alive. blame all the spyware and viruses.. i haven't been able to open my hotmail and yahoomail for the past 2 weeks or so.. and worse, i can't go into msn messenger.. sigh.. and due to the upcoming pros, i haven't been able to find time to rectify the problem. but in a way it's a blessing in disguise, cos then i won't be spending precious sleep time chatting on msn..
i am thinking of starting a new blog.. cos i feel this current blog has no real focus.. with insignificant ramblings all over. i shall sit on the idea and work on it after the pros..
yesterday's bible study was good. we talked about how God commanded us to love one another. and that God has provided us with an example of love we are to follow, that is Christ's sacrificial love for us by dying on the cross for our sins.. he died for us when we were sinners and rejected him.. this is a love really that cannot be achieved by us.. and God has strong words for this, if we do not attain his standards, we do not belong to him.. yet God knows our sinfulness and our helplessness and through Christ, bcos Christ has achieved God's standards, we too have been deemed to have met the mark..
i think it is really hard to love everyone, even fellow believers.. and not all the time.. and definitely our love falls terribly short of God's standards.. but i believe that through God's continuing and enduring work inside our hearts, we are changed day by day to get nearer to God's standards. that one day we will die to ourselves like Christ did to himself, and love each other sincerely and selflessly.
the bible study came at the right time for me.. cos at times, i really feel so frustrated that i find it hard to love a person.. especially when a person had been unfriendly towards you or did something that irked you. so it was a timely reminder for me, sort of a wake up call.. God has commanded me to love all my brothers and sisters like Christ has loved me.. that even though a person might have done or said something against me, i am called to forgive that person and even go out of the way to show love to him/her..
and i am confident that if i have unknowingly (or even knowingly) offended any bro/sis in christ, he/she will eventually forgive me for what i have done. not bcos i have taken any initiative to restore the r/s.. but bcos of our common faith in Christ and our obedience to him.. it really is a very encouraging and comforting thought!
i'll worship You, my God; 4:32 PM
Saturday, February 04, 2006
CHP presentation is over!!!
huge sigh of relief..
just that report is not yet over.. more data analysis to be done.. but the end is in sight!
and our group won the best presentation award! damn happy man.. i think u really feel happy when u see that ur hard work over this past month has paid off.. i am glad i didnt slack off during this period by spending my time studying rather than doing chp (although i keep grumbling and complaining of my neverending data analysis) it feels great knowing u have contributed in some part to the success.. i wont be half as proud of the success if i have not done anything for the project..
still its interesting to note how we congratulated one another and passed accolades on one another.. its interesting to see some of us praising the prof, and the prof praising us.. although everyone claims that the means is more impt than the ends, but deep down inside we know that the ends are equally impt.. i think its the same for other things la.. manu could have played terrible football all season and ended up champs but the newspapers will all report the 101 reasons why manu are deserving champs and stuff.. and they can play wonderful football in a game and lost and the tabloids will go to town with 101 reasons as to what went wrong..
but i dont want to take credit away from the team.. its just a thought that i had while the prof was congratulating us and telling us what we did right and stuff.. and really what he asked at the end made sense.. if we had not won the thing, will we still be happy with what we have done?
i think the answer will be yes la but not a resounding one. the project was not without its problems or glitches.. there were points when i really wondered whether the project could carry on, whether it was going to fail and stuff.. when people stopped turning up for meetings.. when people start shirking responsibilities.. and when things started crumbling, it was really esther who managed to keep things intact and going.. haha she is our group's idol now (and b4 too).
i wont say chp was a waste of time.. i definitely learnt lots of evidence-based medicine (EBM) during the posting, learnt how to apply it and not just memorise dead formulas and analyse over- idealistic data.. spss was a useful tool to learn.. and there were many subtle things picked up.. how people behave under stress and pressure.. how people interact and communicate with one another.. the problems faced among individuals when working as a team.. and i also forged closer friendships with people.. i think the chinese adage "huan nan jian zhen qing" holds true la haha.. u really get to see who are the really dependable friends and the ones willing to lend a helping hand when u are in need..
now must really start studying..
leading songs (actually only one song ha) tmr.. pray that i can do it well..
fighting!
i'll worship You, my God; 2:06 AM