Friday, January 21, 2005
hmm think it is a bit belated.. but still i am quite happy that the lions won their match against indonesia on sunday.. heh we guys had a great time cheering for the lions and shouting ourselves hoarse.. but it was fun.. i think i havent witnessed such an atmosphere ever since the malaysia cup days.. the tix were sold out within 2 days and the stadium was a sight to behold on sunday.. 55,000 fans majority dressed in red.. the kallang waves.. the cries of "ole, ole", "referee kayu", " we want goal".. it had been a long wait but the lions have finally given us something to cheer about.. never mind the 2010 target la, i think that was an impossible dream from the start.. think Asian cup more realistic.. hope they build on this success, build on this core of young players to achieve greater heights!
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tuesday was my mum's 46th bdae.. birthdays have always been low-key affairs for my family la.. no big parties and stuff.. juz 4 of us.. a simple meal.. well wishes. so it was the same this yr.. perhaps the only thing diff was that i bought a birthday cake for my mum this yr.. haha very unfilial hor? guilty, guilty.. took me 20 yrs to buy my mum a birthday cake.. but i hope she enjoyed it.. it was a tiramisu cake from a shop beside Bread Papa's at taka.. not bad..
wouldnt say that my relationship with my mum was a smooth one these 20 yrs.. but i am beginning to accept her for the way she is and trying to understand her more.. she is the disciplinarian type who believes in keeping a tight rein on me and my sis.. yup even till now.. so it is hard not to be frustrated.. and she can really be unreasonable at times.. but i think i just got to live with it lor.. i dont think it is a defeatist(?) or subservient attitude, rather i feel that a little tolerance, a little respect, a little understanding can go a long way in improving relationships.. so i am trying to do that now and i think things have improved a lot recently.. and even though she keeps nagging at me, i am aware that she cares for me.. like that day she paid hundred over bucks for 2 t-shirts for me w/o batting an eyelid.. and she is always asking if i have enough to spend.. yup i am contented and grateful..
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on the note of birthdays, i think a lot of people around me will be celebrating their 21st birthdays this yr.. haha just received one from pris and shumin. smart huh celebrate together haha.. wah but the invitation card was intricately made by shumin.. very nice heh but no thanks for all the glitter.. my bag is full of glitter now, the same goes for my pencil case, my robbins and my notes..
anyway dont think my bdae will be a grand affair la.. firstly i dont have the habit of celebrating my bdaes, too troublesome.. to me it is just another day haha.. secondly, the week after my bdae is ca3 so i wont be in the mood to organise a party or anything haha.. yup i know it is a once in a lifetime thing but well maybe i am juz antisocial..
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selamat hari raya haji. enjoy the weekend!
i'll worship You, my God; 3:19 PM
Saturday, January 15, 2005
was reading hope's blog which led me to read the famous xiaxue blog.. and read her christmas day blog abt christianity and stuff..
thought i shud comment a little since i think i also had misconceptions abt christianity b4.. and i think most non christians do haf a lot of misconceptions abt chrisitianity..
firstly i think there is no way to pass any judgment abt christianity if one doesnt know what the faith is all about.. and knowledge of the religion doesnt mean sources like one's friends, relatives, dubious atheist websites etc.. den again i wouldnt expect any nonbelieving person to peruse the whole bible to see whether the faith is true..
well i think the most impt thing is that one shud try to be as unbiased as possible when examining the faith.. if one already has a fixed mindset that christianity is a whole pack of lies and made up fairy tales, den i think he/she is in no position to judge or pass comment on the faith since he/she has long made up his/her mind abt the issue..
religion is a touchy feely thing.. and i wasnt sure i wanted to talk abt my faith when i started this blog.. but it(christianity, God) had become an impt part of my life so it is not quite possible to leave it entirely out of my blog..
no one can be one hundred percent sure that the faith is true.. because apparently no one living now has ever seen Christ.. and no He doesnt appear in our dreams to convert us.. nor does He appear in some mysterious settings to proclaim the faith to us.. but it is not entirely blind faith, though i would agree that it does require a giant leap of faith, because there are historical evidence to prove Christ's existence and the bible's credibility..
of course there are many things that still cannot be fully explained or accounted for.. like Earth's creation, the existence of dinosaurs and stuff.. but yup with a tinge of biasness and blind faith, who can be really sure when the earth was created and when the dinosaurs roamed the earth? if we havent seen Christ, then we definitely havent seen dinosaurs and mammoths before.. on the other hand, we cannot be hundred percent sure that the Old Testament is true abt earth's creation and stuff..
so it is indeed a controversial issue..
the popular argument against christianity is why has God allowed sufferings and wars and sadness to exist on Earth? again, it is not possible to pass such a comment if one does not have knowledge of God (well for nonbelievers, the God portrayed in the bible).. well throughout the bible, disasters, floods, wars, famines and droughts had been described so God doesnt exactly prevent these from happening, though that doesnt mean he is powerless to do so.. and God is a fearsome and just God who judges and punishes people for their wrongdoings.. there can be no proper explanation for why God has allowed all these to happen, including the recent tsunami.. one explanation could be that God has decided to punish us for our sins.. and that doesnt mean that those who died in the tsunami are sinful people or nonbelievers cos the tsunami wiped out everyone regardless of race or religion.. essentially, if God is that entity that governs all things and creates all things, who are we to question his purpose and who are we who can know what he is thinking since his knowledge is above us all.. so yup again, there is no answer la.. only more questions..
so what made me take the big leap?
a few factors..
1. christianity provided me with an answer to my existence on earth.. i think there is a reason why we are here.. and a reason why the trees, the stars and the sun and the moon and everything else exist.. they cannot possibly appear from no where and for no purpose..
2. i cannot agree more with how the bible has described human nature and sin.. we are all in this same hopeless state.. we are all selfish beings.. we are sinful.. and no matter how much good we do, we are incapable of erasing the wrong things we have done.. and i havent seen a single person who hasnt done a bad deed or harbour an evil thought in his life.. perhaps meeting such a person might change my view about christianity..
3. i am convinced that the bible is true based on historical evidence.. ermm at least i am convinced that the new testament is true.. that jesus existed.. he performed miracles.. he is the messiah.. he is God's son from heaven.. he was crucified and he resurrected.. and i choose to believe that the old testament is true too..
4. christianity has given me new hope and peace in my life.. hope in that there is a sovereign God that watches over me and provides assurance of my salvation.. peace in that i may not brood and worry about worldly things..
5. christianity has made me a better person.. since accepting God's grace, i think i love my family more, i treasure my friends more and i feel more obliged to help others, to be more generous and to consider others' feelings before my own..
some people have told me that they must see God or see some miracle in their lives first before they believe.. i think the former will never happen.. the latter.. well.. i believe God works out small miracles in our lives everyday.. juz that we might not notice it or acknowledge it..
God's plans for each and everyone of us are unfathomable and indeed many things in life cant be explained simply.. some things just happen.. if God has chosen you to be among the saved, then u will be saved.. sometimes i still cant believe that i am a christian.. not that i doubt God or anything.. but i just marvel at how God has changed my heart and made me believe through various circumstances and means..
well all in all to each his own la, i respect all other religions and i have never once despised my other friends and relatives who are nonbelievers.. so i also ask the same of u la.. to respect and not pass misconceived and hateful remarks about christianity..
thought i would end off by saying this, which i read somewhere, that i would rather live my life assuming there is a God and die finding out there is none.. than live my life believing that there is no God and die finding out that there is one..
i'll worship You, my God; 1:05 AM
Thursday, January 13, 2005
I finally passed my driving!!
phew.. no more dreaded trips to paya lebar.. no more circuits.. no more naggings and suanings from my driving instructor.. and most importantly, no further spending on driving lessons.
the test was a smooth and enjoyable one.. credit to the tester mr sng, cos he didnt once stop talking to me once we got on the car..
some of the things he said:
that he will tell me ahead the route so that i can plan ahead.. he said driving is about taking preventive measures.. and that the test is not to trick us but to show the tester that we are competent drivers..
then somewhere he asked me what i am doing now.. and that started the whole comparison of driving to medicine, physiology and what not.. "driving and medicine are the same.. u start with a problem.. u make a diagnosis then u give the prescription.." "driving is preventive medicine, u must plan ahead and take preventive measures before the thing happens.."
the most funny thing was that he started to analyse my personality.. asked me what i intended to do after my 5 yr course.. i told him i havent given it much thought.. but he insisted that i would have some interests somewhere.. so i just said general practice and anesthesiology and maybe surgery.. guess what he said," u know i can actually tell what field of medicine u are going into by looking at the way u drive.. u are the kind of person who does not plan ahead, does not like to think too much so that is why u chose easier specialties like gp and anesthesiology.." okay fair enough.. not a pretty good comment but still, i was quite amused.. then.. " are you the first son in your family?" "yes.. how do you know?" "i can tell.. (forgot what he said)" "it is a coincidence la.. haha." "no.. it is not.." really forgotten how he had derived that..
talked about loads of other things too.. he is a christian too, so he told me about his ministries, his missionary trips.. talked about the education system, politics..
i think he talked to me so much that i was not fully focussed on my driving.. but it calmed me down a lot and i was able to drive normally..
and yes, my internet is up and running again.. has been down for a couple of weeks cos of some stupid bug that crept into my system.. so i cannot blog, cannot use msn messenger, cannot check mail.. irritiating..
school has started again after a 4 week hiatus.. more like a study break for me.. anyway sem 2 is real short.. 6 to 7 wks i guess.. and we will be preparing for yr 3.. time does fly rite?
i'll worship You, my God; 5:16 AM